Teen dating violence is just as serious as adult domestic violence. And it's common. About
2 in 10 teen girls say they have been physically or sexually abused by a dating
partner. About 1 in 10 teen boys reports abuse in dating relationships.1
Teen dating abuse is a pattern of abusive
behavior used to control another person. It can be:
Who's at risk?
Like adult domestic violence, teen relationship abuse affects
all types of teens, regardless of how much money your parents make, what
your grades are, how you look or dress, your religion, or your race. Teen
relationship abuse occurs in straight, gay, and lesbian relationships.
Relationship abuse is not just dangerous for you physically and emotionally. It can also put you at risk for other health problems, such as:
Teens in abusive
relationships are also more likely to take sexual risks, do poorly in school, and
use drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Girls are at higher risk for pregnancy and
sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Is it abuse?
Abusive relationships can have good times and bad times. Part of what makes dating violence so confusing is that there is loved mixed with the abuse. This can make it hard to tell if you are really being abused. But you deserve to be treated in a loving, respectful way by your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Does your boyfriend or girlfriend:
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you might be in an abusive relationship. There are people who can help you. You're not alone. Talk to your parents or another adult family member, a school counselor, a teacher, or someone else you trust. Call a help center or hotline to get help.
Hotlines for help
These national hotlines can help
you find resources in your area.
How parents can help
Teens may not have the experience or maturity to know if their relationships are abusive. A teen may think of dating violence as only physical violence—pinching, slapping, hitting, or shoving. Teens may not realize that any relationship involving physical violence, sexual violence, emotional abuse, or the threat of violence is an unhealthy relationship.
For example, a teen may think his or her partner cares when he or she calls, texts, emails, or checks in all the time. But that kind of behavior is about controlling the relationship.
Talk with your teen about what makes a healthy relationship. Explain that a caring partner wouldn't do something that causes fear, lowers self-esteem, or causes injury. Let teens know that they deserve respect in all of their relationships. Think about values and messages that you want to pass on.
You might start by asking your teen:
CitationsAckard DM, et al. (2007). Long-term impact of
adolescent dating violence on the behavioral and psychological health of male
and female youth. Journal of Pediatrics, 151(5):
August 7, 2012
William H. Blahd, Jr., MD, FACEP - Emergency Medicine & Brigid McCaw, MD, MS, MPH, FACP - Family Violence Prevention & H. Michael O'Connor, MD - Emergency Medicine
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